The Ripple Effect of Neglect: Healing the Relationship Between Men and Women Through Appreciation
When something isn’t respected, appreciated, or cared for, it suffers. This is a universal truth—whether we’re speaking of nature, animals, urban spaces, or even people. Neglect leads to harm, and that harm leaves a wound. Over time, the wound festers, deepening and manifesting in cycles of pain and misunderstanding.
This dynamic is profoundly evident in the relationship between men and women. Both sides carry deep, historical wounds, born of neglect, misunderstanding, and misplaced blame. Healing this divide requires us to first acknowledge the depth of these wounds and then take steps to rebalance the scales.
For decades, society has focused on understanding the harm done to women—the ways in which they were silenced, diminished, or forced into roles that did not honor their full expression. Movements aimed at reclaiming feminine power have brought significant progress, amplifying the voices of women and empowering them to find their place in the world.
Yet, as powerful and necessary as this work has been, it hasn’t been without complications. In many cases, the movement toward female empowerment came with shadows. One was a distortion of what it means for a woman to embrace her feminine energy and another was negativity towards the masculine and men. Instead of addressing systemic problems or shared responsibility, men were and are often blamed as individuals for the broader issues faced by women. This created a dynamic of resentment rather than collaboration.
The narrative around men became increasingly critical, with even acts of kindness being interpreted as patronizing or controlling. For example, a man opening a door for a woman—a simple gesture of care— was for a time a well-used example of how men attempt to undermine a woman’s independence. This misinterpretation of intent left many men feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
This wasn’t just about individual interactions; it became a cultural undercurrent. Men were told their natural traits—strength, leadership, protection—were inherently problematic. Toxic masculinity became a catch-all term, weaponized in ways that overshadowed the positive aspects of masculine energy. In an effort to adapt, many men stepped back, striving to be as unintrusive as possible. (And then, women would often complain that their men were spineless and unattractive.) But, this retreat only deepened the misunderstanding, creating a cycle of disconnection.
If women want to understand what this feels like, they might imagine being constantly criticized for their beauty or sensuality. Instead of being celebrated for their unique gifts, they would be diminished, insulted, and told their natural traits were a problem. This parallel offers a glimpse into the challenges men face—a persistent devaluing of what they bring to the world.
Healing the relationship between men and women isn’t about competition or proving who has suffered more. It’s about recognizing that both sides carry wounds that must be addressed. Women have faced oppression and misunderstanding, but so have men. Both energies—masculine and feminine—have been misrepresented and harmed over time.
The way forward lies in fostering mutual appreciation. Women must recognize and celebrate the beauty of masculine energy—its ability to protect, provide, and create stability. Similarly, men must continue to honor the depth, intuition, and nurturing power of the feminine. Both sides must work to heal not just themselves but their relationship to one another.
To break the cycle of blame and resentment, we need to step into a space of collaboration. It’s not “you are responsible for this” or “I am responsible for this”—it’s about acknowledging that systems, history, and collective actions have brought us here. Only through shared accountability can we begin to create a future where men and women stand together as equals, appreciating and supporting one another’s unique strengths.
By doing so, we move closer to a world where respect replaces criticism, care replaces neglect, and harmony replaces division. It’s a path that demands courage, understanding, and, most importantly, a willingness to see each other not as adversaries but as partners in creating a better, more balanced world.
